Sunday, May 09, 2010

My thoughts on Motherhood......

The first thought that occurred to me today is I am SO unbelievably blessed this Mother's Day. I have THREE....count them, THREE beautifully healthy daughters. I can hardly believe they're mine. Every cuddly, dimpled, ringlet is mine. I get to wake up everyday and be their mother. I get to kiss their cheeks, squeeze them tight and watch them grow everyday and I am eternally grateful to God and all of the people in our lives who have helped to make that possible. Every challenge, every hardship has been worth it!

The second thought I had today was I don't have a clue what I'm doing! For those of you who know me well, you know my story. I was not raised by my mother, I was raised off and on by grandparents, aunts and uncles, Moms of friends....and I am better for it. I am a stronger, more resilient person for those experiences. But at times, I do feel at a disadvantage in the mothering department. I don't have a solid point of reference and that makes me sad. But, I have found myself a few books, a few Mom's who are not my own- but they are (if you know what I mean) and I have friends who are remarkable mothers that I can model myself after. So, while I am intimidated and a little bit sad that I missed out on the kisses, the hugs, the cuddles and the milestones that I so enjoy as a mother, I don't let it determine my happiness. That was a choice out of my hands long ago and I have chosen to allow myself my moments of loss for that time in my life and then I move forward to embrace my life as Mother to Jordan, Madison and Charlotte. I may not have a point of reference, but I know how to love, I know how to guide and I know how to admit my faults when I don't do it right. My girls will never doubt my love. They will always be able to trust me. They will never be left with doubt of my intentions for their happiness. They may not like me some of the time, but they will know I love them.

My third thought of the day.....will I ever sleep again? But that's for another post.


Here are my little blessings......and for those of you who have been following our journey for the last 6 months, you truly know how lucky I am. For those of you here for the first time, head to my posts beginning in November. Happy Mother's Day everyone!


5 comments:

girlytwins said...

Your post brought a tear to my eye. You are a wonderful blessing to your girls. They are so lucky to have such a loving mother. I can tell by reading your words how dedicated you are to them and have no doubt they will ever feel anything less.

They are just beautiful. I am so happy to see you back in here.

You will sleep again :) Just may be in a few months lol. I have so much admiration for moms who blog with infant twins. I didn't start till my girls were toddlers.

B said...

No worries, you'll figure out what you are doing as you go. We all do at some point!

Those babies look like they are growing beautifully! All 3 of your daughters are precious and beautiful.

As for sleep? Well, sorry, that may very well be gone for good!

Brandi said...

You have an award on my blog! Hope you are having a blessed weekend.

http://www.fivemonkies.com/2010/05/i-am-feeling-so-loved-this-week.html

angie said...

Happy Mother's Day. Late.

Now. For the exclamation. The girls are absolutely gorgeous.

You are one blessed mama. You've all overcome So MUCH!

Casey's trio said...

Beautiful thoughts! I will be coming back to your blog when I have some more time and check out your posts from November.