Friday, August 18, 2006

In My Daughter's Eyes, I See the Future.....

Before my daughter was born, I found a journal which I use to write her letters. Everything about this journal sends some type of life message to her from me. The cover is that of a great Dr. Seuss book, Oh the Places you will go! I love this particular book for it's message. It talks of bumps in the road, temptations in life and making the right choices to reach your goal. It gives the reader a sense of confidence in their capability to reach any goal they set out to attain. I want that confidence instilled in my daughter. My hope for her is probably the same as any other mother. A strong sense of self, confidence in her decisions, the ability to think through a problem logically and make sound decisions. Ultimately, these things will lead to her happiness in life. A life without many regrets (we all have a few), and a feeling of fulfillment.
In addition to letters that are written in this journal, (mostly by me, but my husband has penned a few words as well), I have pasted lyrics to songs I find have a great message and convey my wishes for her life. I sometimes worry I will not be here for her, a morbid thought, I know, but there are no guarantees in life and she could very well lose me one day. So, in preparation for that unlikely event, I paste my thoughts and dreams for her in this journal and many of those thoughts are in the form of music. Some of the selections included thus far are: In My Daughter's Eyes by Martina McBride, Daughters by John Mayer, I Hope You Dance by Leann Womack. All of this songs mean so much to me and really send a message of love, hope and optimism for the future of a child. I want her to know my love, to know my hopes and dreams for her. One way to share that is through music.
I write letters in this journal as well, they are not as eloquent as the musical lyrics I have pasted in, but they are my words and they share additional thoughts of love, hope and even some fears. I know that one day, Jordan is going to grow into this independent woman who maybe won't need her mother so much, and during her stubborn streaks, I am hoping this journal might be a way for me to communicate to her, even when she prefers not to be around me. She will always hear I Love You, she will always hear I AM PROUD OF YOU, even when she doesn't really "hear" me. She is only one year and I already anticipate those potentially battle-filled teen years!
Most people would not worry so much, I on the other hand, fear the uncontrollable. It's hard for me to just put everything into God's hands. Although I know he has always seen me through. I still worry. He knows, he gives me the appropriate strength and wisdom I need, when I need it, I always figure it out and realize that I worried for nothing. Another confirmation of his prescence in my life. I am blessed!

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